How to get Respect

What is Respect?

Everyone knows the word “respect”, but my experience shows that most people in today’s world don’t understand its true meaning.

If you take an average person and ask them what it means to them to respect someone, you’ll get all sorts of definitions. And most of them will have nothing to do with real respect.

Let me give you few most common examples of what people define as respect:
· You can “respect” someone because they have power.
· Famous people and celebrities get “respect”.
· Money can buy “respect”
· Authority can be a source of “respect”.
That’s not what respect is all about!

Real respect is something that you feel out of your free will, and it goes both ways. That means that you respect someone because of their character and their relationship with you, regardless of their financial status, position of power, position of authority, etc.

Respect needs to be earned by behavior only, and it has to be a mutual feeling between the people involved. If I respect someone, it is because they have earned it by doing right with me, AND by giving me respect back. That means that I cannot respect someone who does not respect me!

The moment someone stops respecting me I stop respecting them immediately.
For example, you can have the highest respect for your mother and father because they have brought you into this world, cared for you and nurtured you until you are ready to be an independent person (if in fact they did). That will mean that you will place these people to the highest level of respect, above everyone else. I had outstanding parents, so they earned the highest respect in my mind. Their word was the most important to me, above the word of anyone else on earth. The second ones in the order of the high level of respect are some of my family members, and so on. All of these people are giving me high level of respect as well because it is a mutual feeling.

Another example of high level of respect is love. Love without mutual respect is like a car with no gas. It will not go far. If somebody claims they love you, do not believe them, unless they respect you.

You must have mutual respect for your friends, as well. However, respect you give them is a lower level of respect, than respect you have for your family and your partner. Your family comes first.

I'll give you another example. Let’s say I met you and got to know you, and found out I like you as a person, and decided to give you respect. I would respect you more than any wealthy or influential person in the world. I meet many rich people, but I don’t know them well, and I do not care to respect them. The only way they will get my respect is by earning it with their respectful behavior towards me.

How do we learn Respect?

The right way to learn about respect is at home, from your parents who raised you. If your parents did not understand respect, you will never understand it. A life without respect is life without joy and happiness.

Parents are the ones who are responsible for teaching you to respect others by their exemplary behavior. They have to teach you to respect them by respecting each other and by giving you respect as well. Everything meaningful that we learn comes from home.

Examples of respect (it needs to be mutual):
· You never hurt or humiliate a person that you respect, in front of them or behind their back.
· You never talk about your personal affairs with other people.
· You will always protect them and their interest, verbally or physically, even if they are not present, in the eyes of other people.
· You will honor promises you gave them.
· You will respect disagreements with that person, keep your composure and never say anything derogatory and insulting to them.
· You will be there for them in time of need.

I think that you got a good idea. You warrant and demand respect by treating people with respect, and command respect from them. If they do not respond, you should not give them respect and make it clear to them!
Once you get someone’s respect, you will have really good relationships and friendships.

Get out of darkness and go to the light.
Life is more fun and happy in the light.
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